Comments on: Pass ME The Tissues http://suewaters.com/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/ Sat, 31 Jul 2010 00:59:25 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.2 hourly 1 By: Ann Oro http://suewaters.com/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/comment-page-1/#comment-1293 Ann Oro Sun, 24 Feb 2008 19:11:11 +0000 http://aquaculturepda.edublogs.org/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/#comment-1293 Sue: I came to your post via a shared item in Google Reader. I was affected by your post on many levels. It was hard enough being on a merry-go-round of: you are in the class, you are not in the class, you are in the show, you are not but to ask a child to step aside at the last moment was probably not the best judgment. I agree that it probably would not have been asked of a "member" of the class. It was also a shame to tell a nine-year-old after all that to toughen up. I teach at the same school my two boys attend. Sometimes I hear and see things like this that make me cringe. Adults, like students, don't always think before they speak. It's a good post to remind everyone who teaches children to watch what you say in the midst of the day. Good luck with the show next week. I look forward to adding your blog to my reader. Sue:
I came to your post via a shared item in Google Reader. I was affected by your post on many levels. It was hard enough being on a merry-go-round of: you are in the class, you are not in the class, you are in the show, you are not but to ask a child to step aside at the last moment was probably not the best judgment. I agree that it probably would not have been asked of a “member” of the class.

It was also a shame to tell a nine-year-old after all that to toughen up. I teach at the same school my two boys attend. Sometimes I hear and see things like this that make me cringe. Adults, like students, don’t always think before they speak. It’s a good post to remind everyone who teaches children to watch what you say in the midst of the day.

Good luck with the show next week. I look forward to adding your blog to my reader.

]]> By: Sue Waters http://suewaters.com/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/comment-page-1/#comment-1267 Sue Waters Sat, 23 Feb 2008 01:33:14 +0000 http://aquaculturepda.edublogs.org/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/#comment-1267 Hi Con - I definitely agree - the whole society viewpoint that we have to suppress our emotions did totally outrage me. I hope that my sons do grow up to have the ability to still show their feelings. I did reflect for 5 hrs before writing this post Sarah because of the grey area. But I felt it was important to share was to remind us all that it is easy to make bad decisions in the heat of the moment that can impact badly on others. We do need to take the time to see others viewpoints. Like you, I don't like the idea of offending anyone which is why I was reluctant to write this post. It definitely is a timely reminder Simon that we are all humans -- we aren't perfect -- and as educators we can make bad decisions that can impact on our students. Shame that we aren't always aware that we have had this impact. Hi Con – I definitely agree – the whole society viewpoint that we have to suppress our emotions did totally outrage me. I hope that my sons do grow up to have the ability to still show their feelings.

I did reflect for 5 hrs before writing this post Sarah because of the grey area. But I felt it was important to share was to remind us all that it is easy to make bad decisions in the heat of the moment that can impact badly on others. We do need to take the time to see others viewpoints. Like you, I don’t like the idea of offending anyone which is why I was reluctant to write this post.

It definitely is a timely reminder Simon that we are all humans — we aren’t perfect — and as educators we can make bad decisions that can impact on our students. Shame that we aren’t always aware that we have had this impact.

]]> By: Simon Brown http://suewaters.com/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/comment-page-1/#comment-1265 Simon Brown Fri, 22 Feb 2008 21:41:20 +0000 http://aquaculturepda.edublogs.org/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/#comment-1265 Sue, thanks for revealing this personal issue in the context of your professional life. The situation with your son is typical of what I experienced in school as a student, so it appears that not much has changed in 35 years. I know how difficult it can be to balance administrative demands with a teacher's concern for students, consequently bad decisions are made... and so the "hidden curriculum" is revealed. Sue, thanks for revealing this personal issue in the context of your professional life. The situation with your son is typical of what I experienced in school as a student, so it appears that not much has changed in 35 years.
I know how difficult it can be to balance administrative demands with a teacher’s concern for students, consequently bad decisions are made… and so the “hidden curriculum” is revealed.

]]> By: Sarah Stewart http://suewaters.com/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/comment-page-1/#comment-1258 Sarah Stewart Thu, 21 Feb 2008 19:17:57 +0000 http://aquaculturepda.edublogs.org/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/#comment-1258 Thanks for this post, Sue. I really enjoyed it because it caused me to reflect about several issues. Firstly, the effect our behavior has on students. With the best will in the world, I do and say things that I just don't think twice about and it is completely misconstrued by students. I hope that as adults they can come to me and work these issues out but that is virtually impossible for younger children. I have had similar situations with my son as he has grown up and it is extremely worrying thinking about how he has been treated and the effect on his attitude to study - I know that his interactions with teachers has had a very negative impact on his progress through school. I have had to ask myself 'am I being an overly-protective mother' but if I do not look out for him, no one else will!!! The other thing your post has reminded me about is the ethics of blogging about people you live and work with. There is so much that happens in my working life that inspires me to blog, but I am trying to make a conscious effort to do it in a very general way in order not to identify or offend anyone. Give your son a big hug from me. Thanks for this post, Sue. I really enjoyed it because it caused me to reflect about several issues.

Firstly, the effect our behavior has on students. With the best will in the world, I do and say things that I just don’t think twice about and it is completely misconstrued by students. I hope that as adults they can come to me and work these issues out but that is virtually impossible for younger children. I have had similar situations with my son as he has grown up and it is extremely worrying thinking about how he has been treated and the effect on his attitude to study – I know that his interactions with teachers has had a very negative impact on his progress through school. I have had to ask myself ‘am I being an overly-protective mother’ but if I do not look out for him, no one else will!!!

The other thing your post has reminded me about is the ethics of blogging about people you live and work with. There is so much that happens in my working life that inspires me to blog, but I am trying to make a conscious effort to do it in a very general way in order not to identify or offend anyone.

Give your son a big hug from me.

]]> By: Gearfire.com » Blog Archive » Pass ME The Tissues http://suewaters.com/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/comment-page-1/#comment-1257 Gearfire.com » Blog Archive » Pass ME The Tissues Thu, 21 Feb 2008 16:15:44 +0000 http://aquaculturepda.edublogs.org/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/#comment-1257 [...] Dave Platter wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptLine in Sand Drawing the line on what you’ll blog on and what you won’t; and appreciating the needs to have these boundaries is an important lesson I learned from Kathryn Greenhill. Image by Jay Cromer. … [...] [...] Dave Platter wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptLine in Sand Drawing the line on what you’ll blog on and what you won’t; and appreciating the needs to have these boundaries is an important lesson I learned from Kathryn Greenhill. Image by Jay Cromer. … [...]

]]> By: CW http://suewaters.com/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/comment-page-1/#comment-1256 CW Thu, 21 Feb 2008 06:27:25 +0000 http://aquaculturepda.edublogs.org/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/#comment-1256 I don't agree with the teacher telling your son to "toughen up" - to me it's telling him he shouldn't be disappointed, and he shouldn't express his disappointment/disappointment is not a feeling he should have. I suppose this has something to do with the cultural belief that "boys don't cry". (Personally I think this sort of attitude is very destructive to boys and men in our society, but that's another issue.) I agree it can be hard to include everyone but I think the teacher should really have considered the effect willy-nilly removing your son from the performance would have had on him. (Actually this made me very mad and I am trying to write with a civil tone - hmmph!) I don’t agree with the teacher telling your son to “toughen up” – to me it’s telling him he shouldn’t be disappointed, and he shouldn’t express his disappointment/disappointment is not a feeling he should have. I suppose this has something to do with the cultural belief that “boys don’t cry”. (Personally I think this sort of attitude is very destructive to boys and men in our society, but that’s another issue.) I agree it can be hard to include everyone but I think the teacher should really have considered the effect willy-nilly removing your son from the performance would have had on him. (Actually this made me very mad and I am trying to write with a civil tone – hmmph!)

]]> By: Sue Waters http://suewaters.com/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/comment-page-1/#comment-1255 Sue Waters Thu, 21 Feb 2008 06:27:21 +0000 http://aquaculturepda.edublogs.org/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/#comment-1255 Garry - totally agree with you and you are so right what messages are you sending the child. Trouble is that in the rush of the moment - it is too easy to make the wrong decision - if he hadn't been from another class this question wouldn't have been asked. And if she reflected it shouldn't have happened. But I wonder if she has reflected? Or has she just gone away thinking that he needs to toughen up? Garry – totally agree with you and you are so right what messages are you sending the child.

Trouble is that in the rush of the moment – it is too easy to make the wrong decision – if he hadn’t been from another class this question wouldn’t have been asked. And if she reflected it shouldn’t have happened. But I wonder if she has reflected? Or has she just gone away thinking that he needs to toughen up?

]]> By: Gary Barber http://suewaters.com/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/comment-page-1/#comment-1254 Gary Barber Thu, 21 Feb 2008 05:59:08 +0000 http://aquaculturepda.edublogs.org/2008/02/21/pass-me-the-tissues/#comment-1254 Bet the teacher concerned didn't consider that they where sending the message that you can just promise things and take them away at a whim, and that peoples effort is just worthless. That commitment is not worth it in the end. So in essence the child learns that maybe they should just not bother to help or even contribute in future. That trust is not to be placed with group activities. This is damn good example of not considering the individuals but looking at the whole and the performance, and in reality the educators standing. Very short sighted in the extreme and self centered. Bet the teacher concerned didn’t consider that they where sending the message that you can just promise things and take them away at a whim, and that peoples effort is just worthless. That commitment is not worth it in the end.

So in essence the child learns that maybe they should just not bother to help or even contribute in future. That trust is not to be placed with group activities.

This is damn good example of not considering the individuals but looking at the whole and the performance, and in reality the educators standing. Very short sighted in the extreme and self centered.

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